Monday, January 4, 2021

SLAPDASH CITY ESCAPE RED HOT STAMFORD BRIDGE WITH LUCKY WIN

MATCH REPORT | STAMFORD BRIDGE | Sunday 3rd January 2021 |

CHELSEA 1 MANCHESTER CITY 3


Seasonal Greetings


By Olivia De Havilland-Boneidle on the Kings Road

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Embattled Chelsea manager Frank Lumpy dropped deeper into the mire of inuendo and worriment that often encircles this famous old club, after his brave side fell to unlucky defeat against Skull and Crossbones Covid-Lawless Manchester City.

 

After their infamous Day of Rest against Everton, Manchester City returned to action here in West London, looking sheepish after conducting the illicit manoeuvre to avoid playing another Merseyside team at full flow last week. Whatever your take on City, there is no avoiding the fact that they are a group well drilled by their Catalan Covididiots Apologist coach, whose reputation has been frazzled at the edges in recent times by the glorious upsurge of Jurgen Klopp’s Liverpool and Ollie's red fliers over the city at the Theatre of Dreams 🅒.

 

With everything to lose and the pretend crowd becoming agitated, Chelsea’s gallant response can draw some comfort for Lumpy, whose own reputation has taken a recent battering during a poor run of form from his side.

 

Expensively-constructed City opened with a crass error from their stand in goalkeeper, standing in for the outstanding Edwardoson. The hapless rookie picked up a back pass from Laporte and needlessly conceded an early freekick, which would surely have put the home side ahead, had it been on target.

 

Game for the fight right from the off, Chelsea were somewhat unlucky when the visitors took the lead against the run of play. When it came, it was a simple goal, with Foden, at long last offered a rare chance out on the right wing, feeding the unmarked Ilkay Gundogan in the penalty box. The moustachioed Turko-German midfield anchorperson only had to steady himself and place a shot that Elton Welsby could have scored past the outstretched fingers of Edward Mendy in the home goal. Even then the Frenchman got his fingertips to the scuffed shot and nearly kept it out.

 

Stunned by the shameless hand of bad fortune, Chelsea fell further behind when Real Madrid-bound Foden, looking suspiciously offside, mishit a cross from Olex Zinchenko, which went in at the near post when the youngster, possibly lacking a confident touch because of his lack of game time, seemed to have been looking towards the back post to slot in. The unsighted and off-balance keeper again got a hand to the shot but it beat him just inside his near post.

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The smile on John Stones’s face told its own story. City could not believe their luck. With Chelsea all at sea at the sudden turn in fortunes, the Manchester side had what could arguably be called their best spell, stringing some passes together and looking reasonably assured in possession. Their old failings quickly came to the surface, however, when Sterling, racing clear from arguably an offside position, had too long to think about life and fluffed a gilt-edged chance to put the away side three-up. Turning past Mendy, namesake of the shamed Manchester City Covididiot defender, who ought to be banned for inviting foreign sorts to his Christmas party, but instead found an unexpected ally in his Catalan-independence agitating coach, the England striker realised he had, as is his wont, run out of space and was forced to cut back inside in the hope of finding a team-mate with more confidence in front of goal. His eventual shot lacked conviction and it needed the ruddy-cheeked wantaway Belgian contract rebel Kevin de Bruyne, again totally out of sorts in his free role, to bundle the rebound unconvincingly into the goal.

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At this point, you would have expected City to go for the jugular, but, peculiarly, they sat back, allowing Chelsea to enjoy a second half of almost complete dominance, which will have caught the eye of Roman Abrizovic, the London club’s oh-so-difficult-to-please owner-cum-chairman. Looking sprightly and full of running, they introduced the goal-a-game England prospect Thomas Hudson-Odoi, a player who has been carefully shepherded through the early part of his career by studious use of his game time, appearances and media work, the advantages of which clearly showed when he was crisply onto a long ball to bring Chelsea right back into things in the 93rd minute.

 

With City wobbling and an equalizer looking on the cards, referee Jackson Pollock called time just at the wrong moment for the rampaging home side. They will take heart, however, in their stirring comeback and will look to Lumpy to further steady the ship in the upcoming weeks to come.

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For City, a League Cup semi final against in-form Manchester United looks to be arriving in their schedule at just the wrong moment, unless they can find a reason to have it called off. With Ollie Gunnar’s slick and sleek penalty-winning force of nature cosmopolitan cheap as chips side looking fluffy and pretty, pert and vivacious, this slow-moving, cumbersome City team built at astronomical expense by the reticent and media-shy Catalan, will have its work cut out holding on in the growling furnace of the Theatre of Dreams ©. 

With the whole nation urging them on towards a well-deserved Wembley appearance, United, with the magnificent and misunderstood Pogba to the fore, can begin to recapture their accustomed role in English football as the nation’s most popular football club. With Liverpool also at the top, a renewal of old rivalries between these grand old organic clubs is set to grip the country in the second half of 2020-21 in a way none of the historically stunted wannabe newcomers could muster. A sumptuous denouement awaits us all. 

** Olivia can also be found at the Telegraph, The Direstraits Times and The Beano. 


 


1 comment:

  1. Our media should follow your example of accurate* and impartial reporting.
    *mostly

    ReplyDelete

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