Sunday, September 19, 2010


Even before you'd had time to turn to the vaguely aromatic guy in the rally jacket with the chocolate stains sitting next to you and say "the new fella on the left looks a bit handy, doesn't he?" that new player was off again, to sample the delights of stability & feeling wanted at Rotherham or crucial playing time at Dagenham & Redbridge. Here we salute 10 more of MCFC's magnificent unforgettable walk on parts. it wouldn't have been the same without you, lads:

Peacock: made one proud
1.       Lee Peacock: Covered in tattoos, square-headed Lee is best known for a slightly more prominent part in the Ewood Park dressing room shenanigans after City had beaten their hosts to rise back to the Premier League under Joe Royle's stewardship, than his meagre contribution to the cause merited (see also David May in Utd’s Champions League celebration photos). Best (only) goal he ever scored at Maine Road was a swinging dipping winner…for Mansfield Town in the Turn-the-Lights-Out-When-You’ve-Finished Cup.
2.   Buster Phillips: To be clearly the Most Embarrassing of all alan ball’s signings (and that takes some doing), Buster takes some beating. He was lightweight, lacked confidence, couldn’t pass, scored no goals, once lost a heading duel with Charlie Drake, was easily knocked off the ball and contributed only a cartoon goal attempt v Blackburn, when, with City needing a goal so desperately some of us had taken to prayer, he managed to scuff the ball onto a post from a central position six yards out of an unguarded net. Poor bally quickly labelled him the first 10 million pound teenager, before a large stash of hallucinatory drugs was found stuffed in his shell suit pocket.                                                                 
3.   Ivan Golac: Gold star if you remember this bandy legged pickpocket turning out for the Blues in two consecutive 4-1 defeats during our plummet to relegation in the spring of 1983. By the time David Pleat did his hop skip and jump across the hallowed turf, Golac had been sold to a processing factory back home in Rijeka to be made into medium quality budget plimsolls.

4.   Barry Silkman: Here was a man, who looked like he should have been playing the banjo for Tradewind or Claxon down at the local. Barry was giggly, he was bubbly, he was smiley. He even managed a goal on his debut in a 2-1 defeat at Portman Road, but that was very nearly that. Paraded his glossy curls a half dozen or so times before disappearing back down to his native London to become a member of football’s massive and well-loved agent community.
5.   Paul Sugrue: Came straight from non league during Malcolm Allison’s hair brained experiment in getting rid of an entire squad of top of the range internationals and replacing them with overpriced journeymen, who nobody had heard of. Paul duly skipped about a bit, looked nothing like Brian Kidd at all, scored no goals whatsoever and duly buggered off back to take up the hallowed number 9 shirt Camberwick Green Athletic.
Beesley: absolute limit
6.  Paul Beasley: Paul was big, bulky and looked absolutely made for …van driving. Played a handful of games in the style of Audrey Hepburn in fishing waders and was shipped out. Famous for making Jason van Blerk and Lee Briscoe look like reasonably sound purchases during our donkey derby days.    
7.   Egil Ostenstad: The Bollard. This one didn’t stay for long, although it was a surprise he left at all, he was so slow. You could have imagined Big Joe Potato Head saying “Sorry, Evil, me old son, we just don’t see how you will score” and it then taking him seven weeks to reach the coat peg to fetch his hat and scarf.
8.   Peter Bodak: Did a nice jinky one for Coventry against us in the cup, which got him the move. Then immediately turned into a solid 3/10 performer for the rest of his less than illustrious City career, before hitting the pop with Bobby Mac on Blackpool prom.
9.   Tony Grealish: Appeared from nowhere to harass United’s aristocrats in the derby. Looked a little out of breath when taken off, a little haggard in general and a little short of pace and stamina in particular. Penny dropped that he was actually a mummified slab when he fell over waiting for a corner and turned into a cloud of prehistoric dust in front of the North Stand, leaving only a ball of grisly grey beard behind to blow around in the six yard box like miniature slow-motion tumbleweed. 
Grealish: turning circle etc....

Gaudinho: lustre, bounce & body
10.    Maurizio Gaudinho: Here was a man from Germany with a head of hair like a labrador, a set of leather jackets that would have put the wind up Don Johnson and a line of enthusiastic customs police in tow, said to be en route to Moss Side. Who in their right mind would have thought of Rusholme as a good spot to get away from some rather clinging car crime rumours? Whatever the thought that went into this, Maurizio will be forever remembered for flexing his neck, sending his shag-perm into full quiver as he tonked the winner v Liverpool in yet another tense Easter relegation threatened performance.

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