Tuesday, March 25, 2014


In order to look the business for the Derby, you need to have the right gear. The right gear happens to come from Campo Retro and has just popped through the letterbox. And what an enormous letterbox I happen to have. This stuff could not have arrived at a more opportune moment, as the Blues prepare to face the Reds at Old Trafford. None of that modern polyester nonsense that removes your nipples and leaves you bathed in a weird orange glow, this is the kind of fabric that even Joe Royle's testing frame could have sat comfortably in and indeed did sit comfortably in, in the mid 70s. Here's the proof. Take it away Big Joe.

BOSH. Ball delivered. Shirt pristine. Goalkeeper destroyed.
Now, although I am working on my Big Joe Royle muscle to fat ratio on a daily basis, there is no way I could get into a pose like this without utterly ruining my new top, so you'll just have to make do with a picture or two of what the real life stuff looks like flat on the dining room table. Rest assured it's creamy, its potatoey, it's spongey, its sexy. It's everything you would want from a garment that makes you feel like, just for a moment, you are Joe Royle and you are about to smack that far post cross past Mike Mahoney (for it is he) and his Newcastle mates and into the already trembling wet gossamer of the opposition onion bag.

Follow the Campo Retro shirtmasters on Twitter here and take a look at the information below. If you happen to prefer shirts of another colour, what are you doing here? Then, you have to go along to this place and feast your eyes.

Memories of Tueart, Doyle & Hartford

Even the wrapping paper's distinguished
The devil's in the detail

As if being purveyors of the finest retro football shirts was not enough, Campo Retro are also organising a competition, which will see two lucky winners off on their hols to the magnificent city of Lisbon. As if that is not enough, they have hatched a cunning plan for the winners to arrive in Portugal's gleaming capital city just in time to attend the Champions League final between Manchester City and Borussia Dortmund. If you want to be there when City lift the trophy for the first time in history, follow the details below and get the quill pens out. It could be YOU. Make Joe Royle proud.

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